


So what?

by AriaGrill



Series: CarreePool oneshots [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Homestuck, Original Work, crossover - Fandom
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dark Humor, Explosions, Homesickness, If looks could kill, OOC, Parody, Song fic, Three Days Grace, Wade Wilson - Freeform, adorable swearing, annoyed, friendship ship, homestuck crossover, marvel crossover, not a romantic ship, thoughts of homicide, very annoyed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriaGrill/pseuds/AriaGrill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Carree Haajar knows and lives with the merc with a mouth for some reason. He comes home one day to annoy her nearly to both their deaths by singing Three Gays Grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So what?

**Author's Note:**

> rated teen for mentions of gore and some swearing

Carree Haajar was sitting in a worn down chair reading in Wade’s apartment. For some reason he let her stay with him after he failed to kill her for a job. The woman who hired him lied about her being evil or her not having any powers. Killing those with powers cost extra as they are harder to take down according to Wade.

Before she moved in with him she was living in a cardboard box in the earth metropolises known as New York City. Even if she lived with this mentally unstable man, it was still safer than the streets were she could barely communicate. Did I mention she’s an alien from a planet that’s worse than anything any human can image? Yeah well, she is. It’s a long story best told a different time.

The yellow blooded alien was ripped from her book as she heard a very loud and heavy man walking down the hall. “Well,” Carree said in her native language to no one “He is back.” the door then flung open with great force by his boot. “That is going to leave a dent.” she thought out loud. Not that it would matter compared to the state of his hiv—home. “So, how many badies did you kill?” she asked him she then realized he had been singing.

 

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?  
So what if I'm sicker than sick?  
So what if I'm out of control?  
Maybe that's what I like about it

His voice was deep and gravelly as he sang off key. ‘He sounds like a damned blue blood.’ she had to admit despite how off key it was she still liked the sound off his voice of how deep it was at this moment. “Uh. Wade?” she tried to ask him but his loud and terrible singing was drowning out her weak voice. He stopped for a moment and put up his finger to her as if to tell her to shut up. ‘Excuse me?’ she thought. She may not know social cues but she sure as hell knew what that meant. 

 

You can say that I'm going insane  
And I'm not quite right  
And that I'm to blame  
You can say that I'm sick on the inside  
Bet you don't know I like it that way  
You can say whatever you like  
If it's so wrong I don't wanna be right!

 

“Going?” she questioned after he sang that part. Tone deathpool then picked up her staff as a guitar/microphone “Damn feather it Wade! Put that down, now!” She demand. He shook his head still using it but more roughly now. “That is not a toy, it is a very powerful weapon!” If he had not been wearing his mask she would be able to see his eyes light up as she said that. He erupted into a loud, high pitched and if possible, more off pitched. 

 

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?  
So what if I'm sicker than sick?  
So what if I'm out of control?  
Maybe that's what I like about it  
So what?  
So what?

She covered her ears at how inhumanly high his voice. No longer the deep voice she found attractive. Her eyes begin to glow a soft yellow and white. “don’t lose control. Don’t lose control. Don’t lose control.” Her focus went to the glass, it shattered, shards flying everywhere. She started babbling in ten different languages at one. She looked up and saw some of the shards have flown into his eye. Still singing, she wondered if her cardboard box was still there. 

You can say that I'm going insane  
And I'm not quite right  
And that I'm to blame  
I don't care you can say what you want to  
I am who I am and I'll never be like you

“Excuse me?” with that she saw the outline of his smirk she glared at him after that. If only looks could kill. Oh wait.

 

You can say whatever you like  
If it's so wrong I don't wanna be right!  
So what if I'm crazier than crazy?  
So what if I'm sicker than sick?  
So what if I'm out of control?  
Maybe that's what I like about it  
So what?  
So what?

 

He started waving her staff in all kinds of matters. “Wade.” She tried to get through to him. She noticed the spear of her staff began to glow. oh boy. “if you know what is good for you, you will put that down. Now.” She said in a emotionless flat voice. He ignored her, thinking she was just pissed over him touching her things. A bright light came from it as Carree ran as far away from him as possible ducking in cover, screaming. It blew a giant gaping hole in the wall, it took of his legs and one of his arms ‘he is still singing!’ she thought as she saw him regenerating quickly before her eye.

 

And when I'm up  
It's better than ever  
And when I'm down  
I'm desperate  
And when I'm up  
It's better than ever  
And when I'm down  
I'm desperate  
I'm desperate  
I'm desperate

 

‘That man.’ She thought ‘how did I end up living with someone like him?’ she pointlessly asked herself. He had fully recovered by this point. Now dancing like a bloody idiot. She walked over to grab her staff from him. Still singing he held it above his head. She kicked him in the groin. She read once this was a weak spot on male humans. He hunched over dropping Carree’s staff. She quickly picked it up. After a moment he began singing again. “Does anything shut you up!” she screamed in face.

 

So what if I'm crazier than crazy?  
So what if I'm sicker than sick?  
So what if I'm out of control?  
Maybe that's what I like about it  
So what?  
So what?

 

At the last part it was the loudest and highest it had been. It was drown out as Carree collapsed into a ball on the ground. “The end!” Wade happily said as she was glad it was all over. One thing was on her mind, and one thing alone.

“What the feather man?” she shouted over the sirens in the distance.

“awe! You say ‘fuck’ so cute!” he pinched her cheeks as he said that

“Don’t.” she glared again at him. “tell me why now before I rip your feathering male parts off!” 

He began to move his hand in the way of a claw but then withdrew as she continued. “Writer-Cain wanted a song fic, a Carree Haajar torture porn, and a fan fic about me pretty awesome of her am I right? So she thought ‘hey, why not make a song fic about deadpool torturing Carree with a song?’” he quickly said in one long, drawn out sentence. She couldn’t understand one word he had just said and she simply shook her head and walked away. ‘That cold wet box is seeming better and better every day’

**Author's Note:**

> please critique constructively as this is my first time writing a song fic or Deadpool.  
> if you would like me to write more one-shots or the backstory of these two let me know!


End file.
